Over-Due

As of midnight Friday, we went past our due date. I thought nothing was wrong with this, but I'm very wrong.

Everything is wrong.

Because now we have to endure the never-ending torture that is friends and family asking us where the baby is.

It's not like Christmas, which happens predictably on the same date of the same month every year. The baby's birth date is more like Easter: you never really know when it's coming until it's here.

Logically, nobody should expect a baby to show up precisely on his due date. But these are family, friends and well-wishers we're talking about. Logic has nothing to do with it.

They all (and by "they all" I mean "the people reading this blog") try to cover their intentions by using humor during their inquisition, but we're not idiots. We know what they really mean. Here's some examples and translations:

1. Walking up to us in the parking lot and saying, "Well...?" This one makes us feel great. It also reminds us of how little control we have over the universe and makes us feel small and powerless. Translation: "I know when your baby is due and you should pay more attention to schedules."

2. "Still No Baby Yet?" Translation: "I'm bored and driving cross country and I don't have a way to ask about this pregnancy thing that doesn't include the lateness of the delivery." Our sarcastic answer to this one is, "Yeah, we had him. But we're keeping him a secret from the world and not talking about him. You know... just like any first-time parent would."

3. "You know, my friends who were due on Thursday had their kid THAT DAY!" Translation: "I have time-sensitive friends. You should be in charge of your body more?"