5 Movie Characters/Actors You Never Want to Play Your Dad

Nothing against them personally, but if you were a character in a movie and you had these guys playing your father, chances are that your father either doesn't understand you to the point of burying himself in his career or he blames you for the death of one of your siblings.

1. Robert Patrick. The T-1000 has that creepy stare down, and he's never lost it. Nor will he ever lose it. He played "Unforgiving Mr. Cash" in "Walk the Line" because it required the least amount of imagination from the audience ever. "Oh, that dad held a grudge, huh? I'd buy that."

2. Jeremy Piven. Seems like the biggest douche bag walking today, and that's including Guy Ritchie (A-Rod, I'll never forgive you for making me sympathize with this guy. Now I gotta give "Sherlock Holmes" a chance!). Plus he's always leading with his chin, in a kind of "Hit me. Go on, hit me. Y'know you wanna" type of way. If your movie dad does this and you actually take him up on the challenge, you will surely get smacked around.

3. Robin Williams. This dad can't seem to take things seriously. Plus, when your movie mom finally wises up and decides to divorce him, he won't see that as an end either. He'll see that as a chance to win his kids back with accents and wigs. Granted, he's Robin Williams, so he's probably already tried this a million times (Reagan voice, gay hairstylist voice, et al), but this would be the worst timing. On top of all this, he seems to make a career out of movies where he plays a dumb dad. Coincidence?
You'll also never get a word in edgewise. Ever. EV-ER.


4. Any Dad in a Hitchcock Movie. Lord, watch over the children of Hitchcock movies. He even put the characters his own daughter played through the ringer. If you're a Hitchcock Movie Dad, then you're one of the following: a) dead. b) murdered and dead. c) neutered/impotent and obsessed with murder (according to my college film teacher). or d) about to be dead by murder. None of these are good qualities in a father. Evidence: "Shadow of a Doubt." Joseph Cotton rolls into town and could woo this guy's woman--even though it's his own sister!--while the dad wusses around and chatters like a ninny to his buddy named Herb. It's sad and embarrassing. (around 6:50).


5. A Stormtrooper. You could do worse than Anakin Skywalker. At least he cares about stuff, and comes home most days. He takes care of business. Even though he kiiiiiiiinda tries to kill his own son, at least he was also thinking about the future and his kid's career. But if a Stormtrooper ever had a kid, that kid would change his name. Watch this video (around 5:00) for the worst of the bunch. That could've been your dad! The guy who couldn't shoot the largest character in the galaxy with a golden torso strapped to his back.