Nearly A Month Away

I've been busy, traveling, sick and busy for a while and haven't found a way to contribute to this page as much as I'd like to. I do have some weird random thoughts that have come to my mind over the last few over-the-counter-drug-addled days...

1.) The Hollywood Stones (the Rolling Stones tribute band) was formerly known as "Sticky Fingers," in one of those grand cover-band traditions of paying tribute by just mentioning a title from the thing you're covering. But they changed their name, and I'm assuming this was due to legal pressures from the real Stones or their record label... which would be ironic since the Stones themselves got their band name from the title of a Muddy Waters song. I'm not saying I'm right, but if I am, that seems wrong.

2.) I've been plodding through the RedLetterMedia.com reviews of "Phantom Menace" and "Attack of the Clones," and both made me laugh a lot. I can't say I understand everything going on in the reviews (there are "character" moments where we learn the reviewer is a psychopath who may or may not have murdered his wife and now has kidnapped a hooker in his basement), but the criticisms of the movies and the prequel trilogy in general have been pretty spot on. I've thought about interviewing him for the USSRockNRoll.com site, but I'm afraid he'd wanna do it in character, and I'm not up for that. I mostly want to congratulate him on doing something so many people have wanted to do for so long.

3.) And contrary to that, the worst thing to happen to the "Star Wars" world was not the prequels, it was the Holiday Special, which I finally saw a couple months ago. "Saw" as in "tolerated a few minutes at a time and then jumped ahead to the next horrible pile of steaming garbage they collected." It's interminable.

The Hollywood Stones

When I rock Henry for his naps, I often take my iPod touch and watch videos. As I rock, I'll search YouTube for live music I haven't seen. As fate would have it, I recently stumbled off the usual Rolling Stones path and landed on the Hollywood Stones, the tribute band formerly known as Sticky Fingers.

Tribute bands are fascinating and their very existence initiates a series of incredibly weird questions as I rock a baby: do they, the band, only listen to one band? Is being the cover version of Bill Wyman any more exciting than being the ACTUAL Bill Wyman? If I met these guys, would they be fun to talk to or would they be crazy because all their knowledge would circle around one thing? At what point do you figure "this guy looks the part, so we can teach him the drums?" Do you think they're happy the real Stones still put out new music, or do they even bother with it?

Another weird thing about these guys (and it would seem with most cover/tribute bands) is it's hard to find details on their website. Now maybe it's because I'm doing this on a tiny touch screen, but the hollywoodstones.com site looks like one page with a photo and some quotes. I had to get show info from their MySpace page, and I didn't enjoy it.

Yeah, I'm thinking about checking these guys out. I feel it would potentially satisfy a piece of me that I could get nowhere else, including with the actual Rolling Stones. By remaing free from true 100% reality, the Hollywood Stones are like a walking hit list. They seem to play and perform the way that we WANT the Stones to be. Lead singer Dick Swagger, a name that seems a little more telling than it needs to be, can give you the "Gimme Shelter" look, or the 70's glam, or the 80's athletic pants versions of Jagger.

Looks go a long way for most of the band. Swagger moves like Jagger even if his face more resembles Freddie Mercury (either he couldn't sing like Mercury -- which would totally make sense -- or his heart just wasn't in it). Keef Riffoff (oh boy...) does a lot with a wig and a pout to make up for his looks. I've also seen him do the patented riff-kick more in some ten videos than I think Keith Richard has done in his life, but who could blame him?

It's interesting that they went with a Mick Taylor guitarist (with the most plausible fake name Rick Taylor) as opposed to a Ronnie Wood or even Brian Jones. It's also weird that this guy actually looks more like the guitarist from Aerosmith, an observation which opens up a whole new level of who's-covering-who mess that I don't care to enter. Harley Watts and Will Hyman round out the rhythm section and these Mad Magazine level names.

Most importantly, the Hollywood Stones sound like we (which really should read "I") want the real Stones to sound. They even play "Only Rock n' Roll" better/the way I prefer (the way as seen in the video for the song. Since the late 70's, the Stones play it this less sexed up way that I find boring and dull. Luckily, they only play it at EVERY SINGLE CONCERT THEY DO. I'm almost done with parentheticals). Same goes for the first half of their "You Can't Always Get What You Want," as I've mentioned earlier. Their "Jumpin' Jack Flash" feels like the ROCK N' ROLL CIRCUS version, and the only songs I've heard that was more "meh" were " Under My Thumb" (which is a tough one anyway) and "Emotional Rescue."


I feel a strange kind of envy towards the Hollywood Stones. I like to sing along and I work on my strut and leg kick in my spare time. I think it's part of the reason why I like the Hives so much. 5-man band, one lead singer, super strut-cocky. And I've always sort of been genetically programmed to love bands like The Faces or The Black Crowes for the same reasons. It's down and dirty and playing the types of stuff the Stones are known for. I love it. But these guys -- The Hollywood Stones -- have it down.

I guess.

It's just weird. I have always fantasized about joining a band onstage for a huge concert, but has that ever really happened to anyone outside of Judas Priest? And when that happened, did that make guys like the Hollywood Stones think "Hey! If someone quits the Rolling Stones, I'll be ready to step in for them?" What's the career path? Do they hope to make the real Stones feel like less of a nostalgia show by comparison? And do they only play Rolling Stones songs at home? Do they have a rivalry with Beatles tribute bands? Do fans of the Beatles tribute bands call out the Hollywood Stones for just following in the Beatles tribute band's footsteps? Are such things even possible?

I get it and I don't get it.